"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends." - Martin Luther King Jr.
Last week, in summarizing our discussion of Plessy and Brown v. Board of Education, one of my undergraduate students used a word that, while not the most offensive when referring to race, was nonetheless unwelcome in my classroom community. And when she said the word, I stopped her cold and informed her that it wasn’t a word that is appropriate in reference to race. She asked which one of the words she said was offensive and I told her that I would not repeat it but would happily explain the issue after class. I encouraged her to move on with her summary, she did, and I thanked her. End of story, I thought.
Not end of story. About twenty minutes later, she threw on her jacket, her headphones, and backpack and quite dramatically left the class. Now, this is a student who has left each class this semester at least 15 minutes before it ends to get to a work shift that she assured me in January was a holdover from the Winter break and was only going to be, “this once,” but this was much earlier than her usual (far more subtle) exits.
After class was over, I e-mailed her because I was pretty certain my callout was the reason for her hasty departure. I explained why the word was offensive and apologized if she felt I was both blunt and vague. I told her that as the person in front of the class, I could see something she couldn’t–and that was the reaction of her fellow classmates. I would have stopped her in any event and do not (in any way) regret stopping her, but I understand that undergraduates are young and still learning. I thought the discussion we had had as a class about Plessy and Brown had been very clear (and I had discussed these cases using critical race theory as a backdrop). Then I thought perhaps she might have been a freshman who could not have known better. It turns out that she is actually a junior majoring in something in the Political Science department, so no, that wasn’t it either.
I very quickly got a reply from the student. It wasn’t pleasant, professional, or respectful. There was no remorse, no lesson learned, or any understanding (or desire to form one) of why the word was offensive. And she told me that as a “white woman,” I had no place telling her anything. I do not know her race, nor would it matter since no one can use that word in reference to race in my class. And while there were dozens of other inconsistent and misinformed points in the unpunctuated masterpiece she sent me, that was the worst.
Because I was the right person to tell her.
Because I carry the burden of civility in my class.
Because it is not the job of BIPOC students to correct her.
Because when something is wrong, it is wrong regardless of who informs you of it.
Because not saying something publicly would have been worse.
Because sometimes being uncomfortable and sitting in that space is learning.
I invited her to come see me about all of this I have received no response. And I don’t expect one anytime soon.
I don’t feel great about how this ended (if it has), and I hope it will go better next time. Most of all, I hope there is no next time.
(Liz Stillman)
