‘Twas the night before finals, and all through the house, only a law student was stirring and clicking a mouse[1];
Casebooks were stacked by the monitor with care, in hopes that the answers were hidden in there;
Most people were already snug in beds, while law students crammed adverse possession into their heads;
Professors and TAs were in for the night, knowing that grading was surely in sight;
The morning of exams would soon appear, and students would file into the test rooms with fear;
One last look at a study aid and search for a sign, perhaps one last perusal of their outline;
They’d sit and pray to the study aid masters, and hope to avoid essay question disasters;
Now Glannon, now Dressler, now Prosser and Keaton, On Erwin[2], on Crunchtime, on Answers and Questions[3]
To the top of the class! to the top of the curve!
Now write away! Write away! Write it with verve!;
On the first question, the students would start, to prove what they learned and that they are smart[4]
Working to IRAC each issue they spotted, students strived not to exceed the time they’re allotted;
After the essays they moved on to the multiple choice, reading the calls of the question and remembering their voice;[5]
The questions were tough from the facts to the answers, but they carefully read the qualifiers[6] and enhancers;
After weeks of studying, with no sleep or gym sessions, they were pale, tired, and lacking expression;
They said not a word as the proctors would scold, and worked hard until all of the test time had tolled;
When told to put their pens down, the students complied, they packed up their highlighters and other supplies;
But I heard them exclaim as they fled down the hall,
“So glad that’s it over, I gave it my all.”
Happy whatever-if anything-you celebrate in this season! I hope that your smaller and greater worlds are filled with peace and joy in the new year.
(Liz Stillman)
[1] Touchpad really doesn’t rhyme with anything…..
[2] With all due respect to Professor Chemerinsky, I could not find anything that rhymed with Chemerinsky either.
[3] Yes, I know I reversed it, but let’s call it artistic license….
[4] Remember, exams do not actually assess intelligence!!! Poetry is a harsh taskmaster.
[5] Remember, you can be a judge, an advocate, or a scholar on MCQs!!!
[6] With thanks to Ashley Cetnar for her MCQ tips last week!
